I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FEET.
THERE ARE ONLY A FEW TRUE INSTANCES WHEN YOU ARE EXCUSED TO WEAR SANDALS. IF YOU'RE A QUICK WALK FROM THE BEACH...THEN THAT'S OK. IF YOU'RE RUNNING OUT TO CHECK THE MAIL, OR TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, OR SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE THAT...THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. NOW IF YOU ARE GOING OUT FOR THE NIGHT, LET'S SAY YOU'RE MEETING FRIENDS OUT FOR A DRINK OR DINNER...THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO WEAR SANDALS!! NOBODY WANTS TO LOOK DOWN AND SEE YOUR GROSS TOES! I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK YOUR FEET ARE AS CUTE AS A PAIR OF PURSE PUPPIES, YOU SHOULD STILL EXERCISE COVERAGE OF YOUR HOOVES.
NOW THERE ARE RARE PEOPLE WHOSE FEET ARE TOLERABLE...DARE I SAY EVEN KISSABLE. IF YOU ARE A MAN YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM. MY WIFE, FOR EXAMPLE HAS GORGEOUS FEET. I'VE TOLD HER ON MANY OCCASIONS THAT SHE COULD BE A FOOT MODEL & SHOULD LOOK INTO THIS PROFESSION. I'M TOTALLY HONEST HERE...IF HER FEET WERE BEASTLY IN ANY WAY, I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO DRY HEAVE...(I'M NOT A FOOT GUY IF YOU COULDN'T TELL).
TO FIND OUT IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE RARE EXTREMITIES, YOU NEED TO GO TO YOUR FRIENDS OR LOVED ONES AND ASK THEIR HONEST OPINION. PRESENT YOUR FEET TO THEM. IF YOU ARE FRAGILE EMOTIONALLY, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WEAR A BLINDFOLD OF SOME SORT IN CASE ANYBODY HAS A GAGGING REFLEX UPON SIGHT, AS TO NOT HURT YOUR FEELINGS. IN FACT, HAVE THEM PUT THEIR 2 BITS ON A SCRAP OF PAPER AND PLACE IN A HAT. YOU MUST HAVE 100% POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO ACTUALLY HAVE THE GO-AHEAD TO UNCOVER THOSE PIGGIES BEFORE YOU TAKE THEM TO THE MARKET.
IF YOU ARE A MAN, THIS TEST DOES NOT APPLY. YOU SHOULD NOT SHOW YOUR FEET IN PUBLIC NO MATTER WHAT...YOUR FEET ARE DISGUSTING TO EVERYBODY, BUT YOURSELF. AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T WEAR PANTS WITH SANDALS!! PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY KNOW YOU ARE A TOOL.
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