JOEY RAMONE - "...YA KNOW?" REVIEW

The Ramones are one of my all-time favorite bands.  Joey is one of my all-time favorite lead singers.  The majority of my most cherished Ramones songs are the “Joey” ones like “Oh Oh I Love Her So”, “I Remember You”, “Slug”, “Danny Says”, “Don’t Go”, “7-11”, etc.   So, when I heard about his brother Mickey Leigh putting together his final recordings for “…Ya Know?”, I was naturally pretty psyched.  This is his 2^nd posthumous album, following the fantastic “Don’t Worry About Me” which was released in 2002, a year after he died of lymphoma.  From what I’ve heard, much of the accompanying music was created after Joey was already gone.  Mickey was able to amass a pretty formidable crew of musicians to finish off these tracks including himself, Andy Shernoff & Handsome Dick Manitoba (The Dictators), Holly Beth Vincent (Holly & The Italians), Steven Van Zandt (E-Street Band), Ed Stasium, Richie Ramone and Joan Jett to name a few.  I liked that he kept the group within the family circle.  This sense of brotherhood is nowhere more apparent than on the song “New York City”, an open love letter sing-a-long with the whole gang.  The album could have been a disaster if anybody like the Black Eyed Peas or Good Charlotte were allowed in to the fold.

The album starts off with “Rock N Roll Is The Answer” which is a Friday-night-feel-good-finger-snapper coasting on an AC/DC-like strut.  The guitar solo feels a little strange to me in regards to anything Ramones related, but it works in this instance.  The next track “Going Nowhere Fast” could possibly be my favorite on the album.  It has the most straight up Ramones feel to it.  It could have fit quite comfortably on the “Road To Ruin” album from ‘78.  The drawn out “Giiiiiiirl” and “Baaaaaaby” before the chorus is so pure aching-heart Joey goodness.  Another favorite is the steam driven “Waiting For That Railroad”, a laid back catchy tune, heavy on the ‘whoa-oh’s (try not to sing along).  Two short and sweet ditties “Make Me Tremble” and the simplistic “Cabin Fever” rely on just a couple of verses and focus entirely on the vocal melody. It didn’t take long to get in my sub-consciousness walking around like a drooling idiot babbling “LaLaLaLaLaLa…” and “BabyBabyBabyBabyBabyBaby…” over and over.   Joey’s love of that Phil Spector sound of the early 60’s is apparent on tracks like “I Couldn’t Sleep” and “Party Line”.  The former, a hand jive vibe recalling Joey’s track “No Go” off the Ramones “Too Tough To Die” & the latter, a sugary sweet duet with Holly Vincent (I wish they would have included their fantastic cover of Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe”).  “What Did I Do To Deserve You” has a chorus that sounds like an alternative take from the one found on “Beat On The Brat”.   The remainder, “Seven Days Of Gloom”, “Eyes Of Green” and the Joan Jett collaboration “21^st Century Girl” sound lush and infectious.

The sequencing is perfect with the acoustic version of “Life’s A Gas” to finish off these final recordings with a soft, somber smile.  I swear nobody sings a “baby” or “girl”, or for that matter… “ooh”, “aaah”, “whoa”, “aw” or “la-la” like Joey Ramone.  I’m not sure I’d compare this to his other solo album “Don’t Worry About Me” as much as it’s a companion to it.  It’s like the second disc in the deluxe edition of the Joey Ramone solo recordings, and a perfect bookend to an amazing, weird, towering, hopeless-romantic, punk rock crooner’s career. 

For more information or to purchase – go to www.joeyramone.com

For Christ's Sake Will You Cover Yourself!*

*Originally posted at the Eulogy site August 2008

   I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FEET.

   YOUR DIRTY, MISSHAPED, YELLOW, HARDENED, LAMELY PAINTED, STUBBY, SMELLY FEET.  HIDE THEM PLEASE IN A PAIR OF SOCKS...AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, PUT ON A PAIR OF SHOES BEFORE YOU FART AROUND TOWN ON YOUR PAISLEY PAINTED MUFFLERLESS MOPED.

   THERE ARE ONLY A FEW TRUE INSTANCES WHEN YOU ARE EXCUSED TO WEAR SANDALS.  IF YOU'RE A QUICK WALK FROM THE BEACH...THEN THAT'S OK.  IF YOU'RE RUNNING OUT TO CHECK THE MAIL, OR TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, OR SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE THAT...THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.  NOW IF YOU ARE GOING OUT FOR THE NIGHT, LET'S SAY YOU'RE MEETING FRIENDS OUT FOR A DRINK OR DINNER...THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO WEAR SANDALS!! NOBODY WANTS TO LOOK DOWN AND SEE YOUR GROSS TOES!  I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK YOUR FEET ARE AS CUTE AS A PAIR OF PURSE PUPPIES, YOU SHOULD STILL EXERCISE COVERAGE OF YOUR HOOVES.

   NOW THERE ARE RARE PEOPLE WHOSE FEET ARE TOLERABLE...DARE I SAY EVEN KISSABLE.  IF YOU ARE A MAN YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM.  MY WIFE, FOR EXAMPLE HAS GORGEOUS FEET.  I'VE TOLD HER ON MANY OCCASIONS THAT SHE COULD BE A FOOT MODEL & SHOULD LOOK INTO THIS PROFESSION.  I'M TOTALLY HONEST HERE...IF HER FEET WERE BEASTLY IN ANY WAY, I WOULD BE THE FIRST TO DRY HEAVE...(I'M NOT A FOOT GUY IF YOU COULDN'T TELL).

   TO FIND OUT IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE RARE EXTREMITIES, YOU NEED TO GO TO YOUR FRIENDS OR LOVED ONES AND ASK THEIR HONEST OPINION.  PRESENT YOUR FEET TO THEM.  IF YOU ARE FRAGILE EMOTIONALLY, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WEAR A BLINDFOLD OF SOME SORT IN CASE ANYBODY HAS A GAGGING REFLEX UPON SIGHT, AS TO NOT HURT YOUR FEELINGS.  IN FACT, HAVE THEM PUT THEIR 2 BITS ON A SCRAP OF PAPER AND PLACE IN A HAT.  YOU MUST HAVE 100% POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO ACTUALLY HAVE THE GO-AHEAD TO UNCOVER THOSE PIGGIES BEFORE YOU TAKE THEM TO THE MARKET.
    IF YOU ARE A MAN, THIS TEST DOES NOT APPLY.  YOU SHOULD NOT SHOW YOUR FEET IN PUBLIC NO MATTER WHAT...YOUR FEET ARE DISGUSTING TO EVERYBODY, BUT YOURSELF.  AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T WEAR PANTS WITH SANDALS!!  PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY KNOW YOU ARE A TOOL.

MIAMI, HELL*

*Originally posted on Eulogy site 6/20/2008

Today is officially the first day of summer.  In Miami, this just means an extra kick to the nuts every time you walk out the front door.  Another 6 or 7 months until we may get a week or two of temperatures that don't feel like walking through napalm.  The forecast here is always the same.  The FOX weatherman gets the easiest paycheck in Miami.  The sun burns and bores me to death.  My Turkeyneck sticks to my leg like a honey lathered cow tongue.  My balls are pickled in what feels like the spit from a tortoise tongued vagabond.  Sweat rolls down my face like the River Hades.  I don't leave my air conditioned apartment, unless I absolutely have to (no beer).  I look out my window and see Hellspawn walking around with their shirts off, riding their longboards, feeding pigeons and not picking up their dog shit.  Drivers licenses are handed out like techno club flyers.  Reggaeton is the devil's music.

Open Letter To Jack Frost*

*originally from my Eulogy post 01/25/08

It's gotten a little cooler here in southern Florida the last few days...I wouldn't mind for it to drop to the 60's (gasp!) for a few weeks at least.  Something cool and nice where I can sleep w/ the windows open and actually need a blanket!  I know everyone up north is thinking "what a whiny bitch", but hey!  I actually look forward to the 10 days out of the year when my balls DON'T sweat.  Think about it.  Everyday...Your sack sticking to your fucking leg.  You're only solace being a bottle of Gold Bond, that in this Floridian sun melts off your dongsack like flour to pancake batter in a matter of 23 minutes.  I'm begging you Jack Frost... Nip at my nutsack!  Make me feel it in the marrow of my bones.

FEST 6 observation*

*This was originally posted on the Eulogy website on 12/05/07 when I was label manager.

I went to Gainesvillefest this past October and besides seeing some amazing bands (Chinese Telephones, Municipal Waste, The Humanoids, Naked Raygun, Gaslight Anthem, The Ergs! & Seaweed to name a few) I couldn't help but notice all the smelly kids.  What's up with that?  They were EVERYWHERE and they all smelled the same...like months of unwashed asshole.  I know for a fact that many of these kids come from middle to upper class families, so why has it become chic to smell like 27 sweaty sacks?  Take a bath, brush your teeth and throw out your fixed gear bike...also what's up with all the punk girls having either bruises or sores on their faces??!  Jesus Christ, you're an ugly bunch!

Film Festival email exchange 2001

I graduated with a BA in Film.  I have a handful of short films that I'm proud of.  When I moved to NYC after graduation, I tried my hand at submitting a few of them into film festivals.  I got into a few.  Here's the email correspondence from the15th Annual Student Film and Video Festival in 2001.  It's pretty funny. 

April 20, 2001
Congratulations, your film has been selected for competition.  We will let you know if the film is a winner.  If you have a different format that you would like the piece to be screened on please forward it to us as soon as possible.  Good luck!
-Shane

April 29, 2001
Hey Shane,
Just wondering when's the festival?  Thanks for selecting my film!
-JGoon

April 30, 2001
The festival just ended.
-shane

April 30,2001
Where the hell was this film festival???  What the hell was it called???  Who the hell are you??
-JGoon

April 30,2001
HEY JASON, THE INFO WAS ALL ON THE ENTRY FORM.  IT IS ALSO AT FILMFESTIVALS.COM.  YOUR NOT VERY PROFESSIONAL FOR SOME ONE TRYING TO GET AHEAD IN THE FESTIVAL AND FILM WORLD.  AND SINCE OUR FRSTIVAL JUST FINISHED LAST EVENING, WE HAVE TAKE A FEW DAYS TO GO OVER THINGS.
-SHANE
PS. YOUR FILM SUCKED.  KOW ONE LIKED IT.  YOUR LUCKY TO HAVE BEEN SCREENED.  YOU ONE NOTHING BUT OUR CONTEMPT.  NOW PUT IT ON YOU RESUME AND SHUT UP.  ASSHOLE.

May 1, 2001
To Cowboy Shane who enjoys capital case,
every time i wipe my ass, i hate you...your mouth is a horrible hole, similar to my brown eye...i picture you a little man...silver spoon in mouth, but secretly you wish it was ricky schroeder...it is not my fault you have genital warts...
it is your father's...
sincerely,
JGoon

(end of correspondence)

GO-KART RECORDS EMAIL 2003

I lived in Brooklyn and worked at Go-Kart Records almost 12 years ago.  It was the first job I was truly rip-roaring excited for.  I was first hired as an intern and to celebrate I got so wasted I ended up puking on my wife in the cab on the way home.  Sorry, babe.  I have some pretty amazing and pretty depressing memories of those times.  I was working at a record label that I was genuinely a fan of, but I never realized how tough the industry was and how it wasn't going to be getting any better.  I was trying to survive in NYC on $200 a week.  We had to leave and I eventually got a job at another record label in South Florida.  This is an email from my friend and co-worker Artie that made me laugh and sums up where Go-Kart was at in 2003.
---------- Forwarded Message ----------
Artie (02:11 PM) :
when do we get a new printer?
Greg (02:11 PM) :
I dunno  - never I guess - I am going to order one but my credit card is so
maxed out it's crazy so who knows
Artie (02:12 PM) :
spectacular. Can I get paid soon?
Greg (02:13 PM) :
hold on
Artie (02:50 PM) :
...
Greg (02:50 PM) :
??
Artie (02:51 PM) :
1. can I get paid anytime this decade?
2. can you print anything at all from that inkjet piece of junk on your desk?
Greg (02:52 PM) :
yes and no
Artie (02:52 PM) :
yes = today?!?
Greg (02:54 PM) :
dunno - waiting for an email -
Artie (02:55 PM) :
from who, the paycheck fairy?
Greg (02:59 PM) :
ye s- she's been very busy with all this war shit but she is heading our way
Artie (03:12 PM) :
I hope she gets here before the steal-and-sell-Greg's-

computers fairy does.
Greg (03:12 PM) :
you can have em
Artie (03:13 PM) :
I'm sure
Greg (03:13 PM) :
take the one on deans desk first

...5 minutes later, Dean blew a gasket and told Greg he's not coming in
anymore until he gets 7,000 dollars, then stormed out and slammed the door.
Then Greg IMs me again:

Greg (03:22 PM) :
Dean just quit I think
Artie (03:23 PM) :
Why are you IMing me? We're the only ones in the room!

My job rules!
-Artie

Track 1

How ya doin'?  Welcome to my first blog.  I guess I should give some kind of an introduction, but I usually skip those on albums for the most part - so let's keep this short and get right in to it.  I'm a Milwaukee native and presently living in Miami Beach for the last 10 years.  I am somewhat of a curmudgeon and also pretty fanatical about music.  This blog will focus on both.  Some band and album reviews and some comments on everyday life.  I'll try to keep it interesting.  I'm going to begin by posting some of my older writings that I have been collecting in an old notebook.  I'm pretty old-skool as far as technology goes.  I don't belong to facebook, I still have a flip-phone (and dream of the days of rotary phones), and still purchase physical copies of albums over digital...so please bear with me.  Here we go...