Friday, June 8, 2012

KEEP OFF GRASS!

It is common to see some of our local "bluebirds" making sure our lawn out front is perfect. They plant new grass or put sod in areas where the dogs dig up or where the occasional moron decides to park illegally. They are always tweaking the sprinkler system, fine tuning it to go off at the perfect time and to cover the perfect amount of area. Well, the new elevator was delivered yesterday in a steel cargo hold, like one of the cars from the train that crashed in Super-8. It probably weighs over a ton and they dropped it off right on the front lawn. The indentation goes down 3 feet. The vehicle that dropped off said cargo had a good old time literally destroying every square inch of the front lawn. Sprinkler system lines are trashed and sticking out like broken bones. They're probably looking at $10,000 of damage. Ah well, just add it to the owner's monthly maintenence bill. It must be awesome to pay for every-idiot-you-live-with’s mistakes. 
Man, that thing is as big as a billboard.  I can't help but think how crushing it would be to these people to have something really stupid like "F-A-R-T" spraypainted across the streetside of the monstrosity.  We'd be known as the puke green building with the giant FART box on the front lawn...maybe I can contract a hit with the local hooligans...
Get off my shoulder, you devil you.

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